


Motivation

by Vittarius



Series: Outside the Rinks [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Coming Out, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:49:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8845753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vittarius/pseuds/Vittarius
Summary: Yuuri has a crush on Victor.Victor knows.





	

_This is it. This is how I’m gonna die._  
  
Yuuri watched Victor land another flawless jump, spreading his arms wide, perfect smile, rehearsing a wink for the audience.  
  
His breath escaped his lips in one long, ragged gasp, his chest tightening. Victor’s movements were, as always, graceful and passionate. He was a natural skater, born to be this perfect masterpiece of effortless beauty. But there was something more. He wasn’t only beautiful… he was inviting. _Seductive._  
  
A swing of his hips, and Yuuri was panting.  
  
A hand cheekily caressing his own collarbone, and Yuuri’s grip tightened on his water bottle, the plastic complaining.  
  
Victor craned his neck, his lips slightly parted, and damn it, Yuuri knew it was only acting, but still…  
  
He downed the last drops of water and pushed away from the rink. He needed a cold shower and calm down maybe just a bit. If he did it fast enough, he would manage to come back fresh and nice to finish his practice and everything would be fine.  
  
He let out a sigh of resignation as he headed into the locker room. Yep, nothing more. He stripped off his clothing, yanking off his sweats and the hoodie, then his shoes, socks and t-shirt. He looked around the locker room with careful eyes, making sure that no one else was in there with him and pulled off his boxers, quickly skittering over to the showers.  
  
He scrunched up his nose when his bare feet came into contact with the sticky tiles, wishing he’d brought flip-flops in his bag. He turned the knob and yelped a little bit at the scalding water that beamed against his skin and quickly turned it the other way, letting out a sigh of relief as the water cooled down and relaxed his slightly sore muscles.  
  
He lathered and rinsed himself over and over until his skin was red and prickly. Maybe if he kept doing it, he could ignore the uncomfortable tingling below his navel or the unwanted heat between his legs.  
  
He was so caught up in showering that he didn't hear the sound of another shower being turned, losing himself on his thoughts. Yeah, he’d just popped a boner thinking about a guy. Big deal. That didn’t make him gay or anything, right? He wasn’t _gay_. He liked girls. Even though he’d never had a girlfriend… it was because he hadn’t found the right one yet, not because he didn’t _want_ to! But then something occurred to him.  
  
Maybe that was why he’d always been single. Because he’d spent so much time trying to find himself a girlfriend when he wasn’t really interested in girls. He tried to imagine how people would take it if he came out as gay. He didn’t think his sister would care, he was fairly certain _his mother_ wouldn’t care. She had made it clear several times that she just wanted him to be happy. But his father… how would he take it? He’d asked him once, but he’d denied it. If he went back on that, didn’t that make him a liar? He scoffed and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. Why was he thinking about that? He _wasn’t_ gay!  
  
He closed his eyes and leaned back so that his hair was under the rushing water. He ran slender fingers through his dark tresses, gently massaging his scalp. His hands traveled further down, leaving feathery touches against his chest. He wondered how it would feel if those were Victor’s fingers instead. A lewd moan escaped his lips and his eyes snapped open.  
  
“Fuck, I’m _so_ gay.”  
  
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the slapping of wet feet against the tiled floor followed by a low chuckle. He mentally smacked himself and froze up. He wasn't alone.  
  
“Congratulations and welcome aboard,” said a velvety, all-too-familiar voice.  
  


* * *

  
“Did you see his face?” the blond teenager asked with malice. “He was practically drooling again. Fucking loser. I’d pity him if he weren’t such a pussy. I bet he went to jack off in the showers.”  
  
Mila pouted and hugged him from behind. “Let him be. He probably just went home. He’s not bothering anyone.”  
  
“Well, he’s bothering _me_ ,” Yuri snapped. “With those lovey-dovey eyes. Ugh,” he made a face. “I wanna throw up.”  
  
Georgi snickered on the back. Everyone on the Russian team knew about Yuuri's little, well, big and obvious fanboy crush he had on Victor.  
  
“Don’t lose your time thinking about that faggot,” Georgi commented. “We won’t be sharing the rinks with him much longer. He can’t even land a triple flip, there’s no way he’s going to the final.”  
  
Victor listened to his teammates with a frown, inwardly wincing at their exchange. He had started experimenting a few months ago, and he’d come to the realization that he was, in fact, more interested in guys. He didn’t know whether that meant he was bisexual or completely gay, but he was finding it more and more difficult to ask for advice. And now, after hearing the hatred in his friend’s voice, he was positive his sexuality should be kept a secret.  
  
He watched Georgi high-five Yuri for something he didn’t get to listen, but was probably highly offensive because Mila frowned and smacked him. He tried not to show how uncomfortable he was on his face and awkwardly laughed it off. Better not to awake the beast. He looked back over to the locker rooms, where Yuuri had disappeared minutes ago.  
  
“I’ll be right back. Need some air,” he said to no one in particular, and exited the rink. He dropped over a bench nearby and untied his skates, drying off the blades and removing the last vestiges of ice. He wrapped them on a towel and shoved them inside his bag, visibly upset. How could they be so narrow-minded? He didn’t need to keep hearing their insults. He got to his feet and headed towards the showers, hoping to find some kind of shelter under the water.  
  
When he entered the locker rooms, the first thing he noticed was that the lights were on. There was no one in sight, but he could see Yuuri’s hoodie hanging on the coat rack. So… maybe he hadn’t left yet?  
  
He gave two hesitant steps and cleared his throat. “Yuuri?” he called. There was no reply so he shrugged and yanked off his sweatshirt. Better just get over with it and go home.  
  
He gathered a towel and other toiletries and opened the door to the shower area. The sound of rushing water pelting the tiled floor startled him. He slinked, moving like a moth towards the light, but what lured him wasn’t a lamppost.  
  
Yuuri was standing under the water, with his eyes half closed and his hands exploring his chest. He must’ve been thinking about something, because he moaned and... Victor couldn’t help himself, that was his cue to interfere. But then…  
  
“Fuck, I’m _so_ gay.”  
  
Victor had to laugh. He _had_ to. The whole scene was just so out of the ordinary.  
  
“Congratulations and welcome aboard,” he said, and stepped inside the shower.  
  


* * *

  
Okay. Everything was fine, it was just a dream. He would pinch his tight and wake up in his bed, and then he would laugh about how creative his imagination was.

Or maybe not. The pinch to his tight definitely hurt, but nothing else changed.

_'Okay, don't panic. Don’t panic. Just turn around and get your ass out of here as soon as possible, then everything will be fine. He heard you say you were gay, but that’s okay. Nothing unusual, happens all the time. Don’t panic.'_

Yuuri tried to stay calm but he was mentally screaming. Victor wouldn’t stop staring at him and that made him extremely self-conscious. A few excruciating seconds that felt like hours passed and none of them moved an inch.  
  
_'What the hell is he staring at?'_ Yuuri asked himself and then it hit him like a ton of bricks that they were both very much naked. Now was the time to panic. _'Oh God, he can see everything! He can see my dick!’_

And then he realized. The room felt ten times hotter, his cheeks were burning.

 _‘No, no, no, no, no. Go away, just go away! Go away go away go away’_ he demanded, glaring at his half erection. _‘Maybe I should cover my dick?’_ Yes, that would be the best. He lowered his hand and started covering himself but then thought better. _‘No, that’s weird, guys don't do that. Is he doing that? Guys check out each other package all the time just to compare sizes, shouldn't be a big deal, right? Maybe I should look. That’d be the normal thing to do.'_

It was a quick, not so subtle glance and he regretted immediately.

 _‘Okay, so that’s his dick, if you were wondering. Good job, Yuuri. It’s like twice your size but he’s older so maybe there’s still hope. And now just… look the other way. I said look the other way. Okay, fuck. Ignore me and keep staring like a creep, that’s totally normal, go ahead.’_  
  
When he finally glanced upwards, Victor was smirking lightly, his lips barely curved. He took a step forward. Why was he doing that? No, stop. A shiver ran down Yuuri’s spine, his stomach was fluttering and his legs feeling like jelly.

He watched in awe as the cold water cascaded down Victor's pale skin, running thin trails down his glistening, well-defined muscles. Too well-defined. His eyes followed a single trail of water that dripped lower and lower until his eyes shot back up quickly once he realized that the liquid had dribbled down to his trimmed treasure trail.

When their eyes met again, Victor was close. Closer than he’d ever been in the long time they’ve known each other. His heart was hammering against his chest as he stared with wide eyes as the older man inched closer and closer until Yuuri could smell the minty scent that represented everything Victor was.

He hadn’t noticed he’d started to walk back until his head thumped against the hard, wet tile. He hissed out in pain and gritted his teeth. Fingers rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head, reassuringly.

Victor’s fingers.

He let out a yell of surprise as he realized that the man was now mere inches away, pinning him to the wall. He couldn't look him in the eye, though. He was way too embarrassed for that so he settled for looking down which was a huge mistake because, there he was again. His hands shot up to cover his hot, reddened face.

A moment passed and he felt Victor grab his hands, uncovering his face. He didn’t let them go immediately, intertwining their fingers instead, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. And Yuuri wanted to _die_. This was just too much for his poor heart.

Victor smiled and then finally broke the silence, “It’s been a long while since I first noticed your… little crush.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened. Okay, so now he was sure he wanted to die. “W-what? You know? How…?”

Victor laughed softly. “Well, let’s say you weren’t being very subtle about it. I think all the team knows?”

Yuuri was well aware that the rest of the team knew, they’d been bullying him since they’ve started sharing the rink. Especially Yuri. He would never forget the moment when that cruel punk had stolen his phone and discovered the pictures he had of Victor. And that ringed an alarm in Yuuri’s mind. He had to ask. “Your teammates. They told you to come and tease me, too?”

Tears started pouring down his face and he hoped the shower helped him to conceal them. “This is a joke, isn’t it? It’s all a damn joke?” He looked away so Victor wouldn’t see him cry. He wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

Victor took a step back, startled by this accusation. He frowned deeply. Of course they hadn't set him up to this, he’d bumped into him by accident!  
“No, that’s not… Hey, look at me, that’s not-”

A hand grasped his chin, and Yuuri closed his eyes. He wouldn’t look that bastard in the eye. How stupid he’d been to think he could get to know his idol. The grip tightened but he didn’t give in.

“Yuuri, I swear that I would never joke with this… I-”

And everything else he’d been tried to say disappeared when he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Yuuri’s.

The moment their lips met, Yuuri went rigid. Victor was kissing him. On the mouth. Mouth kissing. Victor's lips were soft, wet and completely freezing because of the cool shower. With how cold Yuuri himself was, he was surprised he could even feel it. Victor Nikiforov, the Great Victor Nikiforov, was kissing him and it wasn’t an accident or a joke or… or a dream…

Yuuri's brain short circuited. He was now acting on pure instinct. Choking back a gasp, he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. As their lips slid together, Yuuri tried to do something with his hands, still fisted by his sides. Slowly recovering from the shock, he lifted a hesitant arm and slid his fingers along the sides of Victor's jaw. Feeling bold, we went for it and threaded his hand into the soaking strands of his pale hair, fingers curling against his scalp, completely consumed by the intensity. He felt the other man moan and lick his lower lip, so he opened his mouth a fraction to give him easier access. He didn't know where this was going... But he wouldn't waste the only opportunity Victor had ever given him.

The feeling was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. It was thrilling and stole his breath and he didn't know what to think, caught in the feeling instead. He was being kissed by a guy. And he was okay with it. It felt good. It felt… right.

He really wished Victor wouldn’t notice how inexperienced he was, or that at least he wouldn’t mind. He made a sound into the kiss when the older man started exploring his mouth, their tongues touching briefly. He was getting dizzy, trying to remember how he was supposed to be breathing, but who needed air anyways?

Victor’s hands gripped his hips, pulling him closer so that their bodies were flush with each other. He ran his tongue over the seam of his lips and Yuuri squirmed. It was the most intimate contact he had ever experienced in his entire life and it was incredible.

He felt that heat in his belly again, the one that was a warning, but he ignored it and kept moving his lips. Victor seized his hips tighter and Yuuri tried to stiff a moan, unsure of why he liked the roughness.

He was shaking and it wasn't from the cold, the grip of his fingers almost painful in Victor's hair. He didn't want to stop, he didn’t…

Yuuri felt Victor try to pull away and he couldn't stop himself. “No, V-Victor. Please, don't stop,” he begged into the other man’s mouth, before continuing to move his lips.

The other one chucked into the kiss and unlocked their lips. “Do you …still think this is a joke?” he asked slightly out of breath, one eyebrow vaguely arched.

Yuuri shook his head, aching for more contact. “N-no…”

“Does _this_ feel like a joke?” the man inquired again, rolling his hips, and this time Yuuri could feel a very distinctive hardness between their bodies.  
  
“No…” Yuuri replied once more, his face flushed.

“Good.”

Victor stepped out of the showers and looked back over his shoulder.

“I’d really like to have you around a little bit more. You better make it to the final, or else… I’ll never tell you the end of this story.”

He exited the shower area and let Yuuri standing alone, thinking about what the hell had just happened.

Victor smiled. He had the impression that certain Japanese boy would be joining him on the podium. And tomorrow, seeing Yuuri’s short program, his teammates were going to learn a lesson about motivation. Maybe, they wouldn’t be so cocky next time.  



End file.
